The following is an excerpt of a letter I sent describing my experience with Seminary. Many people ask how it is and I believe this is as honest an answer as any. One point to note is that upon reflecting my experience this last semester, I found that I enjoy life more when i stop taking seminary so seriously. Not in my dedication to work hard and be excellent, but that if I am not the next Christain prodigy, well I'll deal with that. It may surprise you but it took me a long while to get that. Moving on here it is:

I can not begin to describe the difficulty of seminary. Not just the burden of reading and papers, though heavy it may be, rather it is the spiritual that weighs upon my heart. In college there was hardly a class that engaged my heart as well as my mind. Here it seems that every class does both and more. I am seeing how much I don’t love God by the way I live my life, how weak my faith is and how very little I know. These are not bad things mind you, but they do cause me to struggle greatly. Every week it seems that my evangelism class hits me with how deep and wide the love of God is and that most times I fail to remember it. My Intro to Theology course hints at the depth of God when I felt like I had God pretty much figured out. My professors are men who have devoted their lives to the study of scripture and knowledge of God. They, some of whom have been Christians for over 50 years, have received degrees from and taught at institutions like Harvard, Stanford, Princeton, Yale. One of my Professors has even studied under Einstein and attended debates between men that have since been written into text books as great modern philosophers. All of these men say that God can not be systematized. There are no magic formulas for God, no system can truly tell us of God’s glory or of his thoughts, for who knows the mind of God? Like dipping my toes in the ocean and proclaiming that I have explored its depths and width, the unknown areas that may never be known. So even as I am digging into the depths of reformed theology I am constantly reminded that systematics are for men, not for God. And that though we do have God’s revelation in His word and in our hearts, we would be quite foolish to think we could ever figure out God.

As for me, my struggle falls to the more primitive. I am seeing more and more of the lack of faith that I have and how fearful I am. But as deep as my lows have been, I have found deep satisfaction in the Lord. As I pour over the promises and vastness of God’s unending mercy and grace, I find that I am deeply loved. And it is by this grace that I may strive forward. By the power of Christ and the holy spirit I will succeed to his glory. I have set for myself that it will be by God’s power and grace that I will go to the nations, my countrymen to proclaim Christ. And that by his power some might come to know our savior.